Shoving Myself Out the Door: The Evil Beard

We all take them, don't we?  We all inch toward being "out" -- whatever that means to us -- step by step, a little at a time.  For me, it was my beard ... it used to be dark and intractable.  As I talked about here, over the years I tried most of the tricks ... Dermablend, the red-lipstick trick, to no avail.  The shadow still showed through.

Not my beard

So, at last, as I became determined to finally express who I am -- whatever that is -- for good, and to be who I am -- whoever that is -- out and about in the world, I naturally started there.  (Ok, ok ... I'll stop with the whatevers, already.) Besides gradually, painfully acquiring a wardrobe, I began with the foundation, attacking that shadow.  The thing is, it's mostly not there anymore:  it's almost all on my upper lip, and a little on my chin.

Still, I worried at the problem, attacking it and fulminating about it with all the analytical glee that this (former) research scientist could muster, but the problem hadn't gotten any easier. I tried the red lipstick thing.  Again.  I tried a thick, creamy foundation.  Again.  Still, no joy.  The rest of my beard may be white, with a few dark hairs scattered around for measure, but that upper lip still gave me away.  The blue-black shadow ruled, at least in the area above my lips.

Not my beard, either

And then I tumbled to it: as areas go, that is a very small area.  Just a few centimeters square, actually (or if you're living in the dark ages, a few square inches).  What would happen if I just ... plucked it?  Now, I hate pain, but I hate beard shadow even more, so I tried it, on a few hairs and ... ouch!  It hurt.  But, on that little patch, guess what?  No beard shadow.

Well.  If you've spent any time at all around the TG boards (say, crossdressers.com or The Gender Society), you'd know that plucking your beard is not as straightforward as it sounds.  Hairs grow in cycles, so just like with electrolysis, you can't get 'em all in one fell swoop.  And there are dire warnings (mainly from electrologists, who are not disinterested parties) not to pluck your beard if you ever want electrolysis, 'cause it messes with the follicle and makes electrolysis hard.

But, well, most of us, I daresay, never will have it -- its expensive, for one thing, and many times politically incorrect in the marriages we are sometimes in.  And plucking your beard -- carefully --  does do the trick.  And it was one piece in finally getting me out the door.

Now, if I can just quit fiddling with the match in my foundation.