On Christmas Shopping . . . For me.

Many trans folk like Halloween because it's the only time of year they can dress the way they want with no -- well, fewer -- questions asked.  Many like Christmas for a similar reason: you can buy clothing of your preferred gender without embarrassment or question.  It is possible to get real elaborate with it, too: the fake shopping list was always one of my favorites, and there's always the "she's just about my size ..."

I am convinced that most sales people are chuckling to themselves and thinking "yeah, sure ..." And the thing is, they really don't care, most of them anyway: after all, the more sales, the more secure their jobs.  That's one reason I've pretty much abandoned the practice of obvious excuses ... at fifty-something, I just don't care any more.  Heck, I don't have time to care.  So I'll go shopping for most things in male mode, especially things that a guy might buy for his wife ... shoes, tops, jeans, jewelry, almost anything.

Of course, here in the Bible Belt, you occasionally run into someone who objects on religious grounds and assumes -- correctly -- that you are buying for yourself.  You can usually tell when that happens, because a look of disgust crosses their face.  I had that happen one time at a J.C. Penney's in Birmingham, when I hauled a load of tops up to the plus-size register, and the cashier shot me a look that would freeze over hell.  Of course, it didn't help that they were all on 60% discount ... even the cheapest guy wouldn't buy gifts for his S.O. from the clearance rack.  More than once, anyway.

Thanksgiving Wishes

And so this is Thanksgiving (sorry, John).  And some of us are gathering around hearth and home, with friends and family, preparing to overeat outrageously, then diet frantically until Christmas, when the cycle begins all over again.

Some of us aren't so lucky: some of us are alone, and all the homey clichés presented on television and the web rub the wounds raw.  All the perfect families gathered around the perfect tables, all the ads reminding us that every gift begins with Zales ... they remember the way it was for them, and think about all they have given up to be themselves.

This is for them.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Never give up.