t-Spotlight -- The Lazy Crossdresser

I live Somewhere in the Bible Belt, and at the moment, anyway, I am not near a big market, where there are makeover places, trans-friendly bars, etc., etc.  So in my recent renaissance, I have had to find help online and via the mail.  There are many helps out there in the form of books, web-sites and specialty companies, and in this occasional feature, spotlight a resource that has been of particular help to me.

First up is The Lazy Crossdresser,  by Charlie Anders, the single most positive book on getting dressed and getting out that I've ever read.  Sure, it's got the word "crossdresser" in the title, but it applies to all trangendered who experience the paralyzing fear many of us feel at the thought of getting out and about as who we are.  Plus, he doesn't write crappy sentences like I do.


Anders is all about just doing it, as the ads for certain tennis shoes would have it.  She is a cheerleader for getting on with it and getting out, and thereby living into our full potential as transgendered people.  Self-described as a "manifesto disguised as as how-to book," it deconstructs the idea of dressing as a woman, breaking it into component parts.  After years of dressing behind closed doors, Anders came to the conclusion that if she were to wait to be a model of femininity, she would never get there, never feel comfortable enough to go out.

And so, the first thing she recommends is that we ask ourselves what we want to get out of it all.  Do we want to pass, all the time?  Or do we just like to wear sexy heels and a cute little skirt?  Would we be comfortable with subtle expressions of femininity, perhaps wearing an androgynous woman's top and jeans, or do we have the need for full-on glamor?

Anders

Once we determine this -- and we all know this is a moving target for many of us -- Anders advises us to do the minimum we can to achieve it.  This is because of another thing she discovered: if she ended up taking hours to transform, to get everything perfect, she wouldn't have done it very often. 

And so, as she takes us through the different areas of becoming feminine, with chapters like "Basic Presentation," "Make-up," and "Body Image," she also discusses how she does/did it, as the personification of Lazy Crossdresser, helping us to locate ourselves within the possibilities.  All are offered with a refreshing candor and humor.  This latter is especially important to me -- it's hard enough trying to live in two genders without taking it so blasted seriously.

What I find most empowering is the laid back, laissez-faire attitude toward gender variance.  Anders realizes that not one size fits all: "the next time someone tells you there's only one way to transgress," she says, "you have my permission to laugh and plant a big lipstick kiss on his/her forehead."   We don't have to fit into those confining boxes made by others, but have permission to find our own way along the feminine-masculine spectrum.  Seeing as how each one of us is unique, why would we want to do anything else?


(It should be noted that Ms. Anders presents full-time as a woman now; on none of her websites does she mention The Lazy Crossdresser. I do not know why. )