I didn't go out, that's what I didn't do. My small-ish town and my position in it kept me from doing it. I cannot even think of doing a poor job, and too many people would say the proverbial "Hmm. He sure is good at it maybe that explains the long(ish) fingernails ..." It is my firm conviction that people don't normally think "transgender" or "crossdresser" when they see single things like cleaned-up eyebrows or pierced ears singly, but when they see more than one, they can begin to put it together. But maybe I'm wrong.
Given my circumstances, I don't know if I'll ever be all the way to "I don't care" as Meg puts it over on her blog. I have to make a living, after all. So for the moment, when it comes to Halloween, at least, I'll just have to go on living vicariously through others.
Sigh.
I followed you over her from your comment on Meg's blog.
ReplyDeleteMy life is full of things I did not do in CD mode. For all of my best laid plans to get out and about and do stuff as 'Pat', the actual events tend to be once in a blue moon, tame and hidden.
I was going to relate this event to Meg today but did not want to prattle on too long.
Several years ago when I got one of my first maternal dispensations to go out while dressed on a Halloween night I had a bad case of the jitters.
It was late, the bar/nightclub was known to be LGBT friendly and they were having a big costume party.
I drove to the place and parked. Checked my makeup about 50 times but could not unfreeze enough to get out of the car. While sitting there nature called. I was still frozen. Finally, I drove away to a secluded spot to get out and relieve myself, guy style on a tree.
I eventually returned and went into the club and had a great time. Once inside I found that in addition to rooms labeled men and women there was one large restroom that all genders were using. It was surreal. There were about six stalls with doors, several others without doors, three urinals and a long sink. Guys, including me in my dress were standing to do our job. Women were sitting to do their thing and all were using the sinks and the mirror to touch up their faces etc.
It is nice to find your blog.
Good luck.
pat
Thanks, Pat. I have been getting out a lot lately, but not around my own town ... I go to Birmingham. I still sit in the car and dither, sometimes, especially when I'm pushing the envelope into uncharted territory. Of course, there is still a lot of uncharted territory ... :)
ReplyDeletetake care,
Liz
We all take our own steps in our journeys at our own pace and comfort level. Balancing who we are with our needs for being safe and protecting those who care and share our lives with us is so very key among many of us. In my own journey, I must say that I have found, at least here in the northeast, that although it seems people are more knowledgeable, alert and aware of transgender people in general, they are very accommodating and of the attitude to live and let live. I've found that in the south, folks don't seem to pick up on the clues and are not knowledgeable to as great a degree of those who are transgender. But, by the same token, it is much easier to just pass as a woman since it seems that their radar is not attuned to look for anomalies. But... when the anomalies are noted, there tends to be greater surprise and a bit more in the way of challenges in dealing with some situations. I've not had a bad situation yet, but then again, my attempts have been to dress in such a way as to be non-threatening from a "sexual" perspective... which means I usually dress down with longer more conservative skirts, pants and outfits in general. It is sad that much of the population still believes that if one dresses up as a woman, that they must be looking for sex. It's the younger, teenage and adult males which worry me the most... but generally they never pick up that I am anything but a natal woman... and I'd like to keep it that way... just so that I can go about my life and no be bothered.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best in your own journeys and to take care and be safe!
Cheers,
Christen
I'm always as careful as I can be out there, and try to blend as well ... my preferred mode is long pants or capris, topped with a simple top. I tend to shop in larger places, like Target or Wal-Mart, rather than the boutiques. There's an area in Birmingham near the University of Alabama at Birmingham that is quite tolerant, for Alabama anyway, and I have taken to spending a fair amount of time there.
ReplyDeleteJudging from your photos, you certainly have no problem passing as a natal female; someday, I hope to be as adept at it as you.
Take care,
Lis